The Manifesto 14#
So last week I pushed myself way out of my comfort zone and the discomfort was palpable.
I was invited to speak at the ASPAH (Australian Society of Performing Arts Healthcare) conference about the counselling work I do within the circus and physical theatre community. A medical conference is not my natural habitat and I found myself in a face off with self doubt, rumination and FEAR!
So what did I do? I tried to face it in the same way I discuss facing difficulties with my clients. First of all, I had to bracket my very loud inner critic. In order to do that, I thought of a time when I had faced a similar difficulty. The feeling I had in my body was very similar to every opening night I had ever done. It lived in the same place, my chest.
The fear also had the same narrative. What if they don’t get me? What if I make a mistake? What if they don’t like me? What if how I see it in my head is different to how they see it? So I approached it in the exact same way I would’ve approached opening night. I practised for weeks. I got the help of someone I trust, who believes in me and I’m comfortable being vulnerable around. I practised some more, and I self soothed with positive self talk. You can do this. It doesn’t matter if you make a mistake. Not everyone will like you and that’s OK. There’s a chance you might actually have fun. Just keep practising.
After the presentation I felt a huge sense of achievement, I had grown a little bit, stretched my comfort zone. It was the same feeling after an opening night. Relief, self belief and growth.
Next time you are faced with a difficulty, try thinking of a time in the past you have felt the same. How did you get through it? What has helped you in the past and can it help you now?
Kareena. x
Kareena Hodgson was a full-time professional international circus performer for 20 years, who is now an accredited Counsellor/life coach and The Manifesto is her professional consultancy. She is uniquely suited to working in the mental health space within the performing arts. She is also the Senior Editor, Executive Coach & Moral Backbone of Carnival Cinema.
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