Alex Mizzen’s Invisible Things
Alex Mizzen is a creative who uses circus and dance-theatre to make evocative, challenging works. She is a world-class hand-balancer, graduate of National Ballet Theatre and has a bio peppered with seasons with the world’s best new circus companies, including Les 7 Doigts de la Main (CA), Company 2, CIRCA Contemporary Circus, and La Soirée.
In 2016 she injured her neck badly on tour. Along the pathway to recovery, she entered a phase of introspection and research as an artist, teacher, choreographer and director. Out of this came her incredible one-woman show INVISIBLE THINGS, which won Director’s Pick of the Festival for its debut at Brisbane’s Anywhere Theatre Festival 2018.
Here she breaks down that process of recovery and resilience.
Big exhale….
So. Two and a half years ago I fell apart. First physically, then emotionally, and then mentally. This show is about what led me to that moment.
Invisible things are forces, beliefs, patterns or thoughts that lie just under the surface of your life, they effect how you show up in the world. They affect your relationships with life, with others & ultimately with yourself. This show is about how they showed up for me and what happened when I became aware of them.
I wanted to explore what can happen when you sit uncomfortably with the effects of Invisible things. For me it was the edits I made to myself. When you stop moving the pieces around and look straight at them, straight at yourself, you can explore what’s possible when we sit fair and square in our own vulnerability. These edits are how we box ourselves. How we limit ourselves. Hence, the set for the show being both a literal and symbolic representation of this.
When I got injured, I went back and read all my journals from when I was 16 and left home until now. There’s a lot of them. It was re-reading these beliefs and patterns and ways and I began to recognize the patterns, which was how I coined the term invisible things.
Yeah, it’s been a journey.
When I was injured I…. well…. Injury itself forces you to stop. I hadn’t stopped in a decade. I had pushed myself physically, mentally to be the best I could be and work with all the companies I wanted to work for. And yeah, the world, myself, my body I don’t know what you’d like to say it is, but, something said no, enough. Things need to change.
You need to look at yourself and what’s happening and how you’re driving yourself and how you’re leading your life. So, I think injuries can be freaking great and really really tough at the same time. They can, if you let them, show you a great deal about yourself and your life. Everyone’s psychology around injuries is different. How you behave with them. I felt a lot of shame, and I didn’t tell anyone, except my closest circle. I know many other artists have had the opposite experience as soon as it happened it’s on Facebook and Instagram, that wasn’t me. You know there’s no right or wrong in any of this, it’s just what it is. But I do feel some discussion around injury, headspace & moreover, sustainability in this industry is really crucial and could be really progressive for the art form.
Some of my invisible things? Perfectionism with the headspace I’m never good enough. Fear. Doubt. Anger. Self Image. Identity. Envy. Guilt. Shame. Anxiety. Grief. These led to an eating disorder and addiction in my youth, isolating myself, boxing myself with identity and a rigid headspace driven by the voice in my head. Awareness of these not only created this show but has exponentially helped my headspace, given me a true creative voice to share with others as I move into directing work & a simple beautiful honest life.
Photo by: Mathieu d’Argent
Let’s get clear on making the show… I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew I had to do it. So I started. I designed and actually made the metal structure with my friend, I researched endlessly on plastic wraps, invisible inks, paints, projection and so much more. I got in the studio (in between touring stints) and improvised for hours, I recorded and then watched it back. Let me tell you that is no easy or comfortable process. When you feel like you’re onto something and watch it back, it’s usually shithouse!
For a recently prescribed perfectionist that’s a challenging process in itself! But I laboured, and I recognized I needed to enlist some help. On no budget to speak of I found the saving grace of Anna Whitaker (Sound Design), Kristian Santic (Dramaturgy) and Michael Maggs (Technical Design). They are the dream team. They worked endlessly with me and became my outside eyes and sounding board. I am completely indebted to their expertise through this process. They helped me coin the phrase, ‘that’s another show’ as Invisible Things became clearer and clearer in its conception.
So opening night came along quickly after a very short creation period (I think I had about 18 days all up staggered over five months). The show was in its infancy and I was still improvising large sections. But it felt alive and honest. Opening night had its jitters including a skipping rope handle that flew off mid-act and lights that decided not to work. Seriously that couldn’t have happened earlier right?? But nonetheless it was done and the feedback was great. I continued to work on the piece for the entire season and it found its feet by the end it actually ended up winning Directors Choice for the Anywhere Theatre Festival and was awarded two times reviewers top picks. I was happy & exhausted.
Yeah, it’s really personal work I can find it difficult to talk about it. But that’s also been my lesson finding my own creative voice. From making this show, I’ve not only created a piece to tour and share this message, but I have also discovered I have something to say and I plan to bring that to others to help them find their own authentic voice. I will continue directing my own work and expand to directing others. This is where my invisible things are leading me now.
– Alex
More Alex –
Invisible Things opens at Brisbane Powerhouse for 4 shows only on November 29, 2018.
With thanks to Brisbane Powerhouse, Vulcana Women’s Circus and Flipside Circus
Invisible Things – Video by Mathieu d’Argent
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